i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
