Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
