Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
