you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
