Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
