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I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
