we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
