They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
