He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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