did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
