he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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