I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
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