This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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