Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He passed out mid-signature
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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