you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize