Just fell off a train. Bad.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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