Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
