I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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