Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
