I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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