whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
