Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
