I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
