Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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