I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
