i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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