I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize