I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
