so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
