so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
