I wish I could teleport
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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