I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
