I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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