you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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