cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
