If i come over, it means nothing
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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