what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize