dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
