Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
