having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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