I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
