Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
