I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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