Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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