my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
