My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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