Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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