Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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