Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
