I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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