I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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