I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
