his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
