So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and she was petting her beer can
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
