whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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