So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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