Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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