So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
