I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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