she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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