I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
